A ZeldaFront Christmas Story
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the site
Everyone was a-cursin’
And having sword fights!
The reason for this,
Is as plain as can be,
Ebenezer Soro was pissed,
And no one was free.
All were gathered around the tree
Cramped in tight, and grumpily
Because on this board, they were all pressed in
That is to say, all the ZeldaFront kin.
The fairies were wrestling
Like thugs in their beds
While Wyiet the Cat,
Nipped at their heads.
Soro yelled for silence,
As was revealed to him,
He shouted into the violence,
“No Christmas, humph!”
The room grew a-silent
As they all stared distraught.
Wasn’t this against,
Everything they’d been taught?
Soro spoke again, with malice and glee,
“Stop fighting then, and go and RP!”
They grumpily stood, and marched up with their feet,
To the top of the stairs, to plot, mutiny!
They huddled all close,
With malicious intent,
When they noticed someone was missing,
Poor Aure Cratchett was still working over bent!
They shuddered for him,
And prayed silently,
That he could endure,
This night of Christmas Eve.
So their ringleader stood up,
His name was Nibaw,
And so he decided, all abrupt,
“We’ll send three ghosts to him, hahaha!”
They set into action, working hurriedly,
As Fausty the Snowman, a sacrifice, poor guy,
Got shoved down the stairs,
Quite the distraction, when someone dies.
Soro kicked his snow, and then yelled upstairs,
“Come down here, and clean up this mess!”
But nobody answered, and Soro, the unfair,
Had poor Aure Cratchett, clean up Fausty’s rest.
The distraction had been good though,
A feat of nature, the warning was coming,
His old partner, Bask, came down the stairs with woe!
“Ebenezer Soro, hear this warning!”
Soro did freeze, petrified with fright,
He had not seen Bask since,
Last Christmas Eve’s Night!
He slowly nodded, his eyes, shut in a wince.
“This is my warning, Ebenezer Soro!
Change your ways, by the morrow,
Three ghosts will guide your path,
These ghosts are of ZeldaFront Christmas: Future, Present, and Past!”
“But Bask, you died!
You can’t be alive!
I killed you years ago, with that poisoned pie!”
Soro said, writhing in fear.
“Do I look alive to you?
Regardless, here’s the scoop:
I’m leaving now, because here comes number one,
The ghost of Christmas Past, let’s give a big whoop!”
So Bask disappeared,
And suddenly, in a flash,
Henvak appeared,
Dressed up with panache!
“Beware Soro, of what you are!
Wouldn’t you rather have been like before?
Remember the past, that’s when I died,
And prepare, for a time, for ghost number twice!”
Soro sat, cowering in fear,
As Henvak walked out,
Jingle bells could be hear’d.
Because down came the stairs was Good Saint Nibaw!
He let out a chuckle,
And hugged Soro tight,
“Hello, little boy,
And happy Christmas Night!”
Soro, repulsed, stepped back a few,
Only to realize, something stinked, Pee-Yu!
He slowly turned his head, and was taken by surprise,
As he lay against a reindeer, which peed in his eyes!
Nibaw gave a chuckle,
A bellow more like,
But then burst out into song,
For he was a great singer in his own right.
“You know Sayon and Conroy,
And Collin and Bella,
Arsenic and Lana,
And Keala and Kallima,
But do you recall,
The most famous reindeer of all…
RuNaaf, the Red Nosed Reindeer,
Had a very shiny post!
And if-”
“Stop, foolish Santa,
I get the point,
By why are my RPers,
Dressed up like reindeers?”
“Silence Soro,
My time is short,
If we haven’t convinced you yet,
Then you’ll be convinced, post mortem!”
So Nibaw flew up the stairs,
Led by his reindeer,
As Soro doubled over,
Crying in fear.
So the fog began to roll in,
And eerie music played,
Soro was thinking,
That the end was displayed.
A dark hooded figure,
Crept down from the stairs.
He stood in front of Soro,
He had caught him unawares.
The figure through off his hood,
Soro gasped in surprise,
As Frietpiet the Juggernaut,
Glared into his eyes.
“Beware Soro, this will be fast!
If you don’t change your ways,
ZeldaFront will not last!
Love the Christmas Holidays!”
And Frietpiet walked away,
And Soro sat silent.
He finally understood,
What those ghosts had meant!
He hurried to Aure Cratchett,
Who stood cold,
Shoveling Fausty out into the rain.
“Dear Aure, Dear Aure, where are the RPers?”
“You ordered them upstairs, sir,
They were mighty upset.”
Soro gasped in horror,
Mortified by his mistake.
“Call them back Cratchett,
Call them back.
Tell them I want them down in my office,
ASAP!”
So the RPers grinned at the news,
And hurtled down the stairs.
They gathered in Soro’s office,
A crowd of happy stares.
“Dear RPers Dear RPers,
I’ve seen the light!
Christmas should not be silent,
But happy and bright!”
The entire room cheered,
And with glee they turned around.
They opened their mouthes and called,
“Merry Christmas, one and all!”
But that wasn't the end, far from it, really,
Poor Tiny Tim, called Beltingson, walked in,
And opened his mouth and proclaimed quite freely,
"God frickin bless us, All the ZF Kin!"